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- What is a Good Mother?<\/a><\/li>\n
- How to Be a Good Mother: Tips to Use Every Day<\/a><\/li>\n
- How to Cope with Being an \u2018Imperfect\u2019 Mom<\/a><\/li>\n
- Final Thoughts? You\u2019re Doing Great<\/a><\/li>\n
- FAQ<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
What is a Good Mother?<\/h2>\n
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Kleber Cordeiro\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Being a good mom isn\u2019t about \u2018perfect.\u2019 It\u2019s not about never feeling frustrated or overwhelmed. It\u2019s not about looking like Facebook images of moms baking with their children in which no one has dough in their hair and the youngest isn\u2019t having a tantrum<\/a>. It\u2019s not about always knowing exactly what your kid\u2019s behavior means or how to deal with it.<\/p>\n
So what is being a good mom really<\/em> about? According to therapists<\/a>, it\u2019s about taking the time to listen to your child when they want or need to talk<\/strong>. It\u2019s about unconditional love and showing you care, even when your child is being difficult or their behavior is puzzling. And it\u2019s about (trying!) to have patience, even when the time when your kid suddenly wants to talk is when you\u2019re elbow-deep in work or household chores.<\/p>\n
How to Be a Good Mother: Tips to Use Every Day<\/h2>\n
Try these great tips to help support your children every day and provide them with the listening ear they need. Remember, these tips aren\u2019t meant to add to the pressure: simply trying your best to do these things can make a big difference.<\/p>\n
Pay Attention to What Your Kids Need<\/h3>\n
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Prostock-studio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
No matter their stage of development, try to pay close attention to what your kids are telling you. This is hard, as, for example, a teen may stomp off to their room and slam the door simply due to the normal mood swings of adolescence\u2014or they could be distressed about something that\u2019s happened at school that day.<\/p>\n
Try taking a step back and observing your kid\u2019s behavior, bearing in mind what\u2019s \u2018normal\u2019 for them\u2014and what\u2019s not. What looks like difficult behavior could be your child asking for help or support. Be mindful of the non-verbal clues your child is giving, and use your intuition, too.<\/p>\n
Listen Carefully<\/h3>\n
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Evgeny Atamanenko\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
And when your child wants to talk? Always try to take the time to listen, no matter how busy you may be<\/strong>. This is one of the most important ways to develop great, positive communication with your child. It also means they\u2019ll know they can always come to you for help or advice in the future.<\/p>\n
When your child is talking, pay close attention, and try not to interrupt or instantly \u2018make things better.\u2019 Listen to what they\u2019re actually saying, and ask additional questions as needed. Check that you\u2019ve fully understood by asking, for example, \u2018So what you\u2019re telling me is\u2026.\u2019 Ask your child what they would like to happen next, or their ideas to resolve things, if relevant.<\/p>\n
Practice Mindfulness When Spending Time Together<\/h3>\n
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Anna Om\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment, whatever it is we are doing. It\u2019s about phasing out the background chatter of our minds, worries, or thoughts of the other tasks we need to complete so that we can fully inhabit the present time. Practicing mindfulness is great for well-being in general, and is particularly good to employ when we\u2019re spending time with our children.<\/p>\n
More than anything else, our kids want our attention<\/strong>\u2014our full attention, without the distraction of phone messages pinging in, or preoccupation with what\u2019s next on the to-do list. If you have a very young child, try taking regular time out to sit down and engage with your child, giving them your full focus. This could be while simply listening to them tell you about what they\u2019re playing, creating a den, or reading with them.<\/p>\n
If it helps, set a timer, say for twenty minutes, twice a day, and commit to being totally present with your child during this time. You may be surprised at just how much better you and your little one feel once you make this a regular habit.<\/p>\n
Be Consistent in Setting and Maintaining Boundaries\u2026<\/h3>\n
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Natali9yarova\/Shatterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Consistency is important to kids: as well as helping them feel secure, it allows for effective boundaries to be established. While it can be really, really tempting to give in to a request for candy when you\u2019re out shopping and your toddler threatens a tantrum, it\u2019s important to stand your ground. Otherwise, you could be making it even more difficult to say no next time.<\/p>\n
Being consistent can be challenging, but remember that, in practicing this, you\u2019re giving your children a valuable life lesson and helping them to make better decisions as they get older. And, ultimately, it\u2019ll help the household run more smoothly.<\/p>\n
\u2026But Make Time to Have Fun!<\/h3>\n
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Alliance Images\/Shatterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
How to be a good mother is not all about being serious and sensible: build some time to have fun in your family schedule! This is a lovely way to develop and maintain a strong bond with your child and is great for everyone\u2019s wellbeing.<\/p>\n
The options are endless: enjoy a regular family movie and popcorn night, head out for a day trip, or simply put off doing the dishes for an hour and get everyone together for a favorite board game<\/a>.<\/p>\n
Teach Self-Worth<\/h3>\n
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Evgeny Atamanenko\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
One of the best ways that a parent can teach their child self-worth is by modeling self-love themselves. Try not to put yourself down<\/strong> (especially in front of your kids), and, instead, talk about the things you like about yourself, or achievements you\u2019re proud of. Similarly, help your child to recognize their unique abilities and gifts\u2014and encourage them to explore new things, too. This can help them discover new interests and build resilience.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s also a good idea to praise your kids when they attempt something\u2014even if it doesn\u2019t work out. Share your own stories about times you\u2019ve not succeeded at something, but what this taught you. Perhaps you tried again and did succeed, or the attempt itself taught you a valuable lesson.<\/p>\n
Nurture Your Relationship with Your Partner<\/h3>\n
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VGstockstudio\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
The happier you are and the better you feel, the better you\u2019ll be able to parent. Ultimately, when mom and dad are happy, the kids are going to enjoy a more uplifted home, that feels nurturing and supportive.<\/p>\n
So, if you have a partner, be sure to make your relationship a priority. It\u2019s easy to let the romance slide, with the wakeful nights and general chaos of parenthood. Things like date nights may seem a thing of the distant past. However, it\u2019s important to take care of your relationship, even if things look a little different than they used to! A date night doesn\u2019t have to be a complicated affair: a couple of drinks at the local pub, a walk in the countryside followed by lunch, or even a movie night at home without the kids. The important thing is being together and focused on each other.<\/p>\n
And that practice of mindfulness we talked about earlier? Try to bring it to bear when communicating with your partner, too. Make time to properly talk together, even if this is just for five or ten minutes at the end of the day, rather than briefly touching base while doing chores. These things can make a huge difference.<\/p>\n
Provide Shelter and Safety<\/h3>\n
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<\/a>Findmykids app<\/p><\/div>\n
Be proud of yourself, too, for providing your children with the shelter, safety, and food they need\u2014and working hard to do so. From an early age, you can teach your kids the importance of a nutritious, delicious diet, by introducing them to a wide variety of foods\u2014even if they don\u2019t want to try them! Again, modeling a healthy lifestyle is key here.<\/p>\n
Once your child is old enough to start going out and about on their own, you may have additional concerns about their safety and whereabouts. Happily, there are lots of tools you can use to help keep your kid safe when they\u2019re out of the house<\/strong>, such as Findmykids<\/a>, which allows you to track where your kids are, view the routes they\u2019ve previously taken, set up \u2018safe zones\u2019 and more.<\/p>\n
Create a Life Outside of Parenting<\/h3>\n
Looking after yourself and taking good care of your well-being is vital. It\u2019s also important to create a life for yourself outside of parenting<\/strong>, that represents your own interests, hobbies, and passions.<\/p>\n
Make time, when you can, to get out to meet up with friends, or to take that evening class you always wanted to. This will get easier as your kids get older, but carving out time for yourself\u2014even when your child is very small\u2014will work wonders for your happiness and help you have the patience and resilience needed for everyday parenthood.<\/p>\n
Try Not to Make Comparisons<\/h3>\n
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triocean\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
With social media, it\u2019s easier than ever before to make comparisons between ourselves and other moms. It\u2019s tempting to see these other moms as being more organized and generally better \u2018put together\u2019 than we are. Seeing all those Facebook posts of perfectly groomed parents with perfectly well-behaved kids, it\u2019s easy to feel a little down.<\/p>\n
Always remember that, with social media especially, we\u2019re never seeing the whole story, but, rather, a curated snapshot. After all, do you share a lovely photo of your family enjoying a day at the beach, or the image from ten minutes before of your youngest red-faced and screaming because you said no to a second ice cream?<\/p>\n
Plus, every mother has her unique skills, mindset, and priorities when it comes to childcare. Sure, some moms may be better organized, while others are extra creative, and others are amazing at whipping up homemade feasts.<\/p>\n
Check it out: Which Celebrity Mom Are You? Quiz!<\/a><\/p>\n
Embrace the Little Things<\/h3>\n
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MilanMarkovic78\/Shutterstock.com<\/p><\/div>\n
Kids remember the things and moments that matter: and what these are may surprise you. In time, your child may not recall the spectacular pile of birthday gifts they received, but they will always remember the time you surprised them with an impromptu picnic, or took a couple of hours off work to snuggle on the sofa watching a favorite movie.<\/p>\n
- How to Be a Good Mother: Tips to Use Every Day<\/a><\/li>\n
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