{"id":52446,"date":"2025-03-31T11:54:12","date_gmt":"2025-03-31T08:54:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/?p=52446"},"modified":"2026-03-16T16:30:07","modified_gmt":"2026-03-16T13:30:07","slug":"why-7-9-year-olds-lie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/en\/why-7-9-year-olds-lie","title":{"rendered":"Why 7\u20139-Year-Olds Lie\u2014and What You Can Do About It"},"content":{"rendered":"
You might have noticed that younger kids often fantasize and mix up what’s real and imagined. They still have limited cognitive development in distinguishing between truth and fiction. This can show up as something they want to be true and something that actually happened, or doing something wrong but wishing they hadn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
As they mature\u2014around ages 7 to 9\u2014lying starts to take on a different meaning. At this age, kids already understand what honesty is, but sometimes they still choose not to share something or to make up a lie. In this article, we explore why this happens and how to support your child in these moments.<\/p>\n
\ud83d\udcca What Research Says<\/h2>\n
Studies show that by ages 7\u20139, kids don\u2019t just fantasize anymore\u2014they start planning details and crafting untruths, or lies, to make them sound believable. They take into account what the other person knows and can even anticipate their reaction.<\/p>\n
\ud83d\udd11 Why Kids Hide the Truth<\/h2>\n
At this stage, kids begin to understand that the same fact can be seen in different ways. They realize that words can not only describe reality but also change how others perceive it.<\/p>\n
What we\u2019ve learned from studies and from working closely with families shows that kids aged 7\u20139 may lie for different reasons.<\/p>\n
\n
To avoid punishment: \u201cIf I tell the truth, I\u2019ll get scolded.\u201d<\/li>\n
Out of fear of disappointing their parents: \u201cI don\u2019t want Mum to get upset.\u201d<\/li>\n
To test boundaries: \u201cWhat will happen if I lie?\u201d<\/li>\n
To play with the idea of a \u201csecret world.\u201d Their sense of personal space is forming: \u201cThis is my secret; I don\u2019t want to share it.\u201d<\/li>\n
Imitating adults. Kids hear adults bend the truth\u2014\u201cSay \u2018I\u2019m not home\u201d\u2014and start copying that.<\/li>\n
To appear better in the eyes of adults or friends.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
\u2705 How to Respond in the Best Way<\/h2>\n
Kids at this age don\u2019t lie because they\u2019re \u201cbad\u201d or because you\u2019ve done something wrong\u2014they\u2019re learning how to live in a complex world. It\u2019s important to help them see that honesty makes the world better and will help them personally feel better, too. When you react calmly, a child starts seeing truth not as a threat, but as a way of communicating that builds respect and trust.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s what we\u2019ve found helpful\u2014and what you might try too:<\/p>\n
\n
Stay calm when you finally hear the truth. Instead of \u201cHow could you lie to your parents?\u201d you could say, \u201cThank you for being honest. I understand how hard it was to tell me, but it\u2019s important for me to know the truth so I can help you.\u201d<\/li>\n
Help them sort through their feelings and recognize emotions: \u201cWere you scared I\u2019d get angry? Let\u2019s think about what else you could have done.\u201d And keep in mind, if you did<\/em> get angry, apologize to your child.<\/li>\n
Explain the consequences of lying: \u201cWhen you lie, it\u2019s hard for me to trust you. Trust means we can tell each other the truth and not be afraid\u201d.<\/li>\n
Praise honesty, even when the truth is unpleasant: \u201cThank you for telling me. That means a lot to me.\u201d<\/li>\n
Show that making mistakes is okay: \u201cEven if you do something wrong, I still love you. What matters more is that we\u2019re honest with each other.\u201d And if you<\/em> make a mistake, own up to it\u2014modeling is powerful.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
\ud83c\udf31 Remember: your child is learning how to tell the truth and you are one of their primary teachers. When we help kids feel safe, their need to lie often fades away. Your calmness and support will teach them not to be afraid to be themselves.<\/p>\n