{"id":54004,"date":"2025-08-13T12:15:18","date_gmt":"2025-08-13T09:15:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/?p=54004"},"modified":"2026-03-16T16:47:00","modified_gmt":"2026-03-16T13:47:00","slug":"what-to-do-when-kid-says-i-hate-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/en\/what-to-do-when-kid-says-i-hate-you","title":{"rendered":"What to Do When Your Kid Says \u201cI Hate You\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Even the sweetest child may shout, <em>\u201cI\u00a0hate you!\u201d<\/em> in\u00a0the heat of\u00a0the moment. It\u00a0stings, especially when you\u2019re trying to\u00a0be\u00a0a\u00a0loving, supportive parent. But those words aren\u2019t really about you. They\u2019re about your child\u2019s overwhelming feelings\u2014often scary and confusing even to\u00a0them.<\/p>\n<h2>Why Kids Say \u201cI\u00a0Hate You\u201d<\/h2>\n<p>These words are a sign of strong emotions. Children ages 7\u201312 may say it\u00a0when they\u2019re tired, frustrated, or\u00a0can\u2019t find better words for hurt or\u00a0anger.<\/p>\n<p>Teens 13\u201317 often use it\u00a0as\u00a0a\u00a0protest, or\u00a0a\u00a0way to\u00a0express pain, test limits, or\u00a0assert independence. Behind the \u201chate\u201d is\u00a0usually hurt, anger, or\u00a0helplessness.<\/p>\n<h2>What Parents Can Keep in\u00a0Mind<\/h2>\n<p>This isn\u2019t a\u00a0rejection of\u00a0<em>you<\/em>. Your child isn\u2019t making a\u00a0rational judgment about your worth. They\u2019re overwhelmed\u2014by anger, fear, or\u00a0disappointment\u2014and this is\u00a0how it\u00a0spills out.<\/p>\n<h2>How to\u00a0Respond, Step by\u00a0Step<\/h2>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Stay calm<\/strong><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong>Even if\u00a0it\u00a0hurts, respond with a\u00a0steady voice. Your calm presence says: \u201cYou\u2019re safe, even when you lose control.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Take a\u00a0pause<\/strong><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong>You don\u2019t have to\u00a0react right away. Silence and a\u00a0few deep breaths can be\u00a0more powerful than any quick reply.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Use supportive words<\/strong><strong><br \/>\n<\/strong>When you\u2019re ready to\u00a0respond, try something like:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\u201cYou\u2019re really upset right now. I\u00a0hear you.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m sorry you\u2019re feeling this way.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI\u00a0love you, even when you\u2019re mad.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI\u2019m here.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cThis is\u00a0hard, I\u00a0know.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<h2>What NOT to\u00a0Do<\/h2>\n<p>When emotions run high, it\u2019s easy to\u00a0get pulled\u00a0in, but your reaction can either calm the storm or\u00a0make it\u00a0worse. Try to\u00a0avoid:<\/p>\n<ul style=\"text-align: left; width: 100%;\">\n<li><strong>Yelling back:<\/strong> it only escalates things.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Blaming:<\/strong> \u201cHow could you say that to\u00a0me?\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Withdrawing:<\/strong> \u201cFine, I\u00a0won\u2019t talk to\u00a0you either.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Demanding apologies right away:<\/strong> let them cool off first.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Lecturing:<\/strong> during emotional outbursts, kids don\u2019t hear logic; they need connection.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2>Teaching Kids to\u00a0Handle Big Feelings<\/h2>\n<p>\u201cI\u00a0hate you\u201d often shows up\u00a0when kids don\u2019t yet have the tools to\u00a0say what they <em>really<\/em> feel. So, beyond handling the moment, help them build emotional awareness:<\/p>\n<ul style=\"text-align: left; width: 100%;\">\n<li><strong>Name their feelings out loud<\/strong>: \u201cSounds like you\u2019re really angry.\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Talk about your own feelings<\/strong>: \u201cI\u00a0felt sad when&#8230;\u201d<\/li>\n<li><strong>Discuss emotions during calm moments<\/strong>: After a\u00a0story, movie, or\u00a0shared experience<\/li>\n<li><strong>Normalize emotions<\/strong>: \u201cIt\u2019s okay to\u00a0feel mad\u2014it\u2019s what we\u00a0do\u00a0with it\u00a0that matters.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In\u00a0time, they\u2019ll learn to\u00a0say: \u201cI\u2019m upset,\u201d or\u00a0\u201cI\u00a0feel hurt\u201d instead of\u00a0\u201cI\u00a0hate you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Even harsh words can carry a\u00a0hidden question: \u201cAre you still here for\u00a0me?\u201d<br \/>\nWhen your response is\u00a0calm and caring, you\u2019re giving the answer they need most.<\/p>\n<h2>References:<\/h2>\n<ul style=\"text-align: left; width: 100%;\">\n<li><a  rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.todaysparent.com\/family\/parenting\/an-age-by-age-guide-to-dealing-with-i-hate-you\/\"\" rel=\"nofollow\">An\u00a0age-by-age guide to\u00a0dealing with \u201cI\u00a0hate you\u201d<\/a>, Today\u2019s Parent, 2025<\/li>\n<li><a  rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"https:\/\/theallianceforec.org\/blog\/i-hate-you\"\" rel=\"nofollow\">\u201cI\u00a0Hate You!\u201d How to\u00a0Respond to\u00a0Disrespectful Behavior<\/a>, The Alliance for Early Childhood, 2023<\/li>\n<li><a  rel=\"nofollow\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/us\/blog\/how-to-raise-a-happy-cooperative-child\/201411\/when-your-child-says-i-hate-you\"\" rel=\"nofollow\">When Your Child Says \u201cI\u00a0Hate You\u201d<\/a>, Psychology Today, 2014<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\t\t<div class=\"wpulike wpulike-default \" ><div class=\"wp_ulike_general_class wp_ulike_is_not_liked\"><button type=\"button\"\n\t\t\t\t\taria-label=\"Like Button\"\n\t\t\t\t\tdata-ulike-id=\"54004\"\n\t\t\t\t\tdata-ulike-nonce=\"3276491de4\"\n\t\t\t\t\tdata-ulike-type=\"likeThis\"\n\t\t\t\t\tdata-ulike-template=\"wpulike-default\"\n\t\t\t\t\tdata-ulike-display-likers=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\t\tdata-ulike-disable-pophover=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\t\tclass=\"wp_ulike_btn wp_ulike_put_image wp_likethis_54004\"><\/button><\/div><\/div>\n\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Even the sweetest child may shout, \u201cI\u00a0hate you!\u201d in\u00a0the heat of\u00a0the moment. It\u00a0stings, especially when&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":25,"featured_media":53803,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"layf_related_links":[""],"layf_exclude_from_feed":["1"],"classic-editor-remember":["classic-editor"],"_edit_lock":["1773668689:1"],"_edit_last":["1"],"_thumbnail_id":["53803"],"mpulseenable_meta_value":["no"],"yzcategory_meta_value":["\u0414\u043e\u043c"],"yzrating_meta_value":["\u041d\u0435\u0442 (\u043d\u0435 \u0434\u043b\u044f \u0432\u0437\u0440\u043e\u0441\u043b\u044b\u0445)"],"yzrssenabled_meta_value":["no"],"saswp_custom_schema_field":[""],"_s2mail":["yes"],"hide-in-popular":[""],"_hide-in-popular":["field_5d0c8a5b4fde2"],"\u0430\u0432\u0442\u043e\u0440":["\u0412\u0430\u0441\u0438\u043b\u0438\u0439 \u0421\u043c\u0438\u0440\u043d\u043e\u0432"],"_\u0430\u0432\u0442\u043e\u0440":["field_5e33cab3984d1"],"\u0444\u043e\u0442\u043e":[""],"_\u0444\u043e\u0442\u043e":["field_5e33cbc1984d2"],"custom_title":[""],"_custom_title":["field_67cfbde67c007"],"custom_image":[""],"_custom_image":["field_67d012de223ac"],"custom_alt":[""],"_custom_alt":["field_67d012f6223ad"],"read_more":[""],"_read_more":["field_67d0130e223ae"],"_aioseo_title":[null],"_aioseo_description":[null],"_aioseo_keywords":[""],"_aioseo_og_title":[null],"_aioseo_og_description":[null],"_aioseo_og_article_section":[""],"_aioseo_og_article_tags":[""],"_aioseo_twitter_title":[null],"_aioseo_twitter_description":[null],"_ez-toc-disabled":[""],"_ez-toc-insert":[""],"_ez-toc-header-label":[""],"_ez-toc-device-target":[""],"_ez-toc-alignment":["none"],"_ez-toc-heading-levels":["a:0:{}"],"_ez-toc-alttext":[""],"_ez-toc-visibility_hide_by_default":[""],"_ez-toc-hide_counter":[""],"_ez-toc-exclude":[""],"_ez-toc-word_count_limit":["0"],"_ez-toc-position-specific":[""]},"categories":[668],"tags":[],"language":[3],"acf":{"custom_title":"","custom_image":"","custom_alt":"","read_more":""},"aioseo_notices":[],"featured_image_src":"https:\/\/cdn-blog.findmykids.org\/2025\/07\/CHto-delat-esli-rebyonok-krichit-YA-tebya-nenavizhu_1200x640_statya.png","author_info":{"display_name":"The Findmykids Editorial Team","author_link":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/ru\/author\/find-my-kids"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/cdn-blog.findmykids.org\/2025\/07\/CHto-delat-esli-rebyonok-krichit-YA-tebya-nenavizhu_1200x640_statya.png","reading_time":"2","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54004"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/25"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=54004"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54004\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":57801,"href":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/54004\/revisions\/57801"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/53803"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=54004"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=54004"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=54004"},{"taxonomy":"language","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/findmykids.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/language?post=54004"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}