First time out on their own

How to prepare your child for their first solo walk and let them go without worrying

Letting your child go out alone can be scary — especially when it’s their first time. Even if you understand that this is a natural part of growing up and all their friends are already out and about without adults, you may still worry To ease parental anxiety, you can prepare your child for their first solo outing and make sure they know the basic safety rules in the city.

How to tell if your child is ready

There’s no specific age at which children are ready to go out alone. You should focus on the behavior and individual characteristics of each child. 

Most likely, a child is ready for their first independent outings if they:

• know the way home;
• know how to use a phone and can call you;
• understand basic safety rules;
• can say no to an adult;
• let you know if their plans change.

If these skills haven’t developed yet, that’s normal. It means you should pay attention to these topics and work on them in more detail.

How to deal with strangers

Children have far less experience than adults. That’s why they can’t always tell whether a situation is dangerous or not. And they can’t always recognize a dangerous person among strangers.

That’s why it’s important to explain: dangerous adults may look perfectly normal. They may be neatly dressed, polite, and claim to know your parents. So, you need to pay attention not only to their appearance but also to their behavior.

What to watch out for right away

Explain to your child that these are warning signs:

• An adult asks you to keep the conversation a secret;
• An adult rushes you and doesn’t give you time to think;
• Says “Mom said it’s okay”, but you don’t know anything about it;
• Asks to go somewhere or show them something;
• Offers gifts, food, or a “surprise.”

If any of these things happen, it’s best to leave immediately and call your parents.

Rules for interacting with strangers

Other important things to teach children

• Let parents know plans and routes. Teach your child to always let you know about any changes of plans during the day. If after-school care is canceled, they’re going to a friend’s house, or they want to take a different route home from school, parents need to know.
• Learn traffic rules. Make sure your child knows how to cross the street and doesn’t run out into the road while playing.
• Shout and call for help. In case of danger, immediately attract the attention of those around you and shout loudly: “I don’t know you! Help!”
• Run to a place where there are many people. For example, go to a store or a pharmacy.
• Call your parents or the emergency number 911 if there is no cell service or no other way to contact them.

What you can do right now

• Practice these situations. Discuss the rules described above with your children and review them regularly. For example, ask, “What would you do if someone asked you to help find a puppy?”

• Practice the phrase together: “I don’t know you, and I won’t talk to you!” Explain that a responsible adult will understand and won’t be offended.

• Create a circle of trust. Save the phone numbers of trusted people in your child’s phone and discuss which specific relatives and acquaintances are allowed to pick up your child from school or after-school activities.

• Show your child people they can turn to for help. These could be police officers, security guards, park or store employees, or women with children.

• Teach your child the international gesture of asking for help. The gesture is made with the hand: the palm is open, the thumb is pressed against the center of the palm, then the other fingers are clenched into a fist several times. This gesture is used if, for some reason, it is not possible to call for help out loud. For example, if the child is next to an abductor and is afraid to attract attention.

• Agree on a code word. Come up with a secret word with your child that only you and your loved ones know. If someone says, “My mom sent me,” they should ask for the code word. If the person doesn’t know it, that’s a reason to leave immediately and call their parents.

Pre-Outing Checklist

Going out on their own is a skill that develops over time. The clearer the rules are to your child, the more at ease you’ll feel. Start with short, familiar routes near home, gradually expanding their range.

Before the walk, you can quickly check:

• that your child’s phone is charged;
• that they know exactly where they’re going and what time they’ll be back;
• that you’ve agreed on when they’ll check in;
• that you’ve discussed the route.