Roblox and other online games: what parents need to know

Roblox and other online games: what parents need to know

Why we’ve stopped teaching kids “don’t talk to strangers” (and what to teach instead)

Heather McConney didn’t let her kids have a phone until they turned 12. She set up parental controls, blocked sites with suspicious content, and personally approved every new app. Her 13-year-old son spent time online in the same places as all his peers: Roblox, Discord, Twitter. For two months he messaged with someone who was twice his age and pretending to be a classmate. It started in the comments, then moved to DMs. One evening his father walked into his son’s room to say goodnight and found no one there. The boy had been abducted.

He was found the next day thanks to the police and volunteers. In interviews with NBC News afterward, the boy’s parents admitted they’d sensed something was off long before the abduction. Heather believes the tragedy could have been prevented if they had known what to watch for.

The real threat to kids online usually isn’t some abstract “stranger” — it’s someone they’ve come to trust over weeks or months of ordinary, friendly conversation. Experts agree that “strangers are dangerous” is not just an inaccurate framing, it can actively backfire: fear of any unfamiliar person raises anxiety in kids and gets in the way of the social skills they need, including the ability to ask an adult for help when something’s wrong.

Platforms parents should know about

Roblox — the risk mainly comes from games with open voice or text chat between players; moderation quality varies a lot from game to game.

Discord — servers are user-created, and moderation can be minimal or nonexistent; it’s also the most common place predators suggest moving a conversation to from safer platforms.

Fortnite and similar games — voice chat with random teammates is on by default in most modes.

How to talk to your kid about online safety

The smartest move is to shift the focus from who the person is to how they’re behaving. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a neighbor, someone from a game, or an anonymous profile with a cat avatar — if someone’s behaving suspiciously, that’s worth a closer look (and worth telling a parent about), no matter how long you’ve “known” them.

You can put it to your kid in one sentence: an adult (or someone pretending to be your age) who asks you to keep something secret from your parents, gives you gifts or in-game currency “just because,” or suggests moving from the group chat to DMs — is behaving suspiciously.

When a kid can’t quite articulate what’s happening, give them a simple gut-check. If talking to someone makes you feel uneasy, ashamed, or anxious, that’s always a reason to tell your parents.

What not to do

Don’t scare them. Repeating horror stories from the internet risks raising a kid’s baseline anxiety in a way that’s hard to shake even as an adult.

Don’t promise “I won’t be mad” and then break that promise. A kid’s trust is easy to lose — and next time, they won’t tell you anything.

Don’t rely on parental controls alone. Any tool here works like a seatbelt: it improves your odds, but you still have to keep your hand on the wheel and know what your kid is doing online.

A real story

“My son was 10 and playing Fortnite with someone from ’his team’ — voice chat, normal for that game. A couple weeks in, I noticed he was calling this player by name, like an actual friend, when he’d never bothered to remember a random teammate’s username before. Something felt off, so at dinner one night I just asked, casually: ’Tell me about him, how old is he?’ My son hesitated — it turned out he didn’t actually know, just figured ’probably my age, his voice is just low because of a bad mic.’

I didn’t make a big scene or confiscate his phone. I just said, ’Okay, next time he’s playing with you, mind if I listen in for a bit?’ When I did, it was obviously not a teenage voice. I talked to my son and explained that adults can’t be friends with kids — they need to be friends with other adults. We blocked the ’friend.’ My son was upset, but I don’t know what else I could’ve done, given that I’m not always home and he plays online alone.”

— Sarah, mother of 10-year-old Jake

What parents can do to keep kids safe

Try swapping “stranger” for “someone acting suspicious,” and walk through what that looks like with concrete examples.

Give your kid an anchor phrase: “If something feels wrong or embarrassing, come to me — I won’t be angry.” And keep that promise if the moment comes.

Ask your kid directly: “Is there anyone you talk to in games or chats that I don’t know about?”