When Should Kids Start Using Social Media?

When a child starts asking to “get an account like everyone else,” it can be tough for parents. You want to protect them, but you also want to support their growing independence.

Between ages 9 and 12, kids gradually step into the digital world, and sooner or later the question comes up: “Is it time for social media?”

Let’s take a look at what to consider, how to start, and how to help your child enter the online world safely and responsibly.

Why Interest in Social Media Appears at This Age

At 9–12, kids begin forming their first real friendships, wanting to belong, and seeing themselves as part of a group. Social media becomes more than entertainment — it’s a place to talk, express themselves, and stay connected outside of school.

It’s important to remember: interest in social media isn’t a whim. It’s a natural step in growing up. And when a parent stays close, talks things through, and offers guidance, it becomes a great opportunity to teach a child about healthy communication, critical thinking, and self-respect.

What Risks Exist — and Why It’s Essential to Talk About Them

Although many platforms officially allow use from age 13, kids often sign up earlier — sometimes without telling their parents. And they might face things they’re not fully ready for yet.

• Open access to strangers. Comments, messages, group chats — all of these can be risky if a child doesn’t yet know how to tell safe communication from unsafe.
• Unwanted content. Even without searching, kids may come across aggressive content, hateful comments, fake news, or questionable challenges.
• Dependence on likes. They may start wanting to “please everyone,” collecting views and waiting for others’ approval.
• Online conflicts and bullying. Cyberbullying often starts with an innocent comment but can turn into major stress.

Research shows that early and unsupervised social media use is linked to higher anxiety, sleep problems, and lower self-esteem. That’s why staying present, talking about your child’s experiences, and helping them feel safe and confident online is so important.

What Parents Can Do

It may seem like the best way to protect a child is to forbid social media or postpone it “until later.” But strict bans rarely work the way we hope. What helps much more is talking openly and agreeing on simple guidelines.

1. Start With a Conversation, Not a Restriction

Instead of a firm “you’re not ready,” try asking:

• What do you want to do on social media?
• What interests you there?
• Have you seen what your friends post?

These questions help you understand your child’s real motivation. Sometimes it’s not the platform itself they want — it’s the chance to make videos, chat, or just observe.

2. Set Rules Together

Create the account together, set the privacy settings, and turn off public posting or comments.

• Disable location sharing and limit the friend list.
• Explain why they shouldn’t post their address, school name, or personal photos.
• Agree on screen time and pay attention to whether your child still gets enough rest and sleep.
• Talk through what to do if someone sends hurtful or uncomfortable messages.

📌 We recommend the approach “observe — guide — trust.” You’re not replacing social media moderation, but you stay close, open to questions, and ready to step in when needed.

Follow your child’s account, but avoid commenting on every post. Let them feel supported without pressure. Spend the first week “together”: look at the content, discuss what seems strange, what feels fun, and what feels worrying.

3. Be the Example They Learn From

Kids copy what they see. If the family often criticizes others’ posts or compares likes, a child will remember that. But the opposite is also true: when adults share helpful videos, respect different opinions, and can put their phone down, kids notice that too.

4. Offer an Alternative If It’s Still Too Early

If you feel it’s not yet the right time for social media, explain why — and offer something similar:

• A family video or photo project. You can create a private family YouTube account where your child can experiment with filming, editing, and sharing clips only with you. This keeps the creative spark alive without involving strangers.
• Offline creative projects. A family album or even a “paper blog” with photos, drawings, and stories gives your child a space to “publish” and get warm feedback in a safe environment.
• Kid-friendly learning platforms. Suggest apps and platforms where kids can learn coding, create music, or try design. This gives them a digital outlet without the risks of open social platforms.

Social Media Isn’t a Threat When a Caring Adult Is Nearby

The first steps on social media are a lot like stepping into a big city. Without a map, support, and explanations, a child can easily feel lost. But when a parent stays close — not to scare, but to guide — it becomes a chance to learn responsibility, empathy, and respect for themselves and others.

You’re already doing so much right simply by being willing to talk about it calmly. Your attention and involvement give your child the sense of safety they need to explore the digital world with confidence.

References

• Digital parenting, UNICEF, 2025
• Kids under 13 shouldn’t have smartphones, study says, Parents, 2025
• How using social media affects teenagers, Child Mind Institute, 2025
• Screen time and social life, Raising Children Network, 2024