5 Steps to Help Your Daughter Become More Independent

How can you encourage your daughter to develop independence? Educators and psychologists recommend using approaches that match your child’s age. Here are some practical tips for girls aged 8–10 from a family psychologist that you can start using today.

💡 1. Give Her the Freedom to Choose

Games are a great way for kids to develop organizational skills. For example, you can invite your daughter to become the “Organization Fairy” and organize her room. Let her decide where to keep her toys and books.

To make it fun, consider a small reward, like handing her a magical wand or creating a whimsical certificate for her achievements.

😣 2. Let Her Make Mistakes

Curiosity is an essential trait of every child. Little ones often want to understand how things work and may try to help, sometimes making a mess in the process. Remember the age between 3 and 5 when they were full of this energy?

But as kids grow older, instead of confidently saying, “I can do it myself!” you might hear, “I can’t do it” or “I don’t know how.” Your daughter might think, “Why try if I can’t do it as well as the adults?” This is normal as children can’t do everything perfectly the first time.

Your job is to accept that. Don’t rush in to redo what she has done, even if it’s not perfect. Allow her to learn and grow from her mistakes.

✅ 3. Give Specific Praise

Instead of using vague phrases like “Good job!” be specific and detailed with your praise. For example:

• “You worked so hard on that tricky problem. Your persistence is really impressive!”
• “You organized your things so neatly. You’re a natural at organizing!”

Praise that focuses on actions helps your daughter not only build self-confidence but also fosters her intrinsic motivation. Remember to praise the process, not just the outcome.

🤗 4. Involve Her in Family Decisions

Involving your daughter in family discussions helps her feel valued and responsible. For example, plan the dinner menu together or discuss weekend activities. This type of participation gives her a sense of importance and builds responsibility.

Research has shown that 77.6% of children feel more important when they’re included in family decision-making.

Try starting with something simple, like “What would you like for dinner this Saturday? Let’s look up a recipe and cook it together!” These shared activities not only develop independence but also strengthen family bonds and create lasting memories.

📝 5. Give Age-Appropriate Tasks

Children aged 8–10 handle better when given simple tasks to start with. For example, you can trust her with watering the plants or making sandwiches for breakfast. These tasks help her build responsibility and confidence in her abilities.

As your daughter becomes more capable, gradually increase the complexity of the tasks. But remember to break them down into manageable steps so she can handle each part on her own. This approach will help her feel successful and confident as she completes each task.

By giving your daughter opportunities to choose, make mistakes, and gradually take on more responsibility, you’re fostering her independence and self-assurance, tools that will serve her well throughout her life.