How to Gently Reduce Your 9-Year-Old Daughter’s Screen Time (Without Tears or Tantrums!)

Does your daughter get completely absorbed in her phone, ignoring everything around her? Does a call for dinner feel like an echo in an empty room? Stay calm and read on. There’s a way to break the screen spell without meltdowns. The key is knowing the right approach.

⚡ Why Does It Matter?

Studies show that 9-year-old children who spend more than 2 hours a day on screens (outside of schoolwork) are more likely to experience:

• Sleep disturbances
• Difficulty concentrating
• Lower levels of physical activity

🧠 Why Is It So Hard to Break Away From the Screen?

When we watch something exciting or scroll through an endless social media feed, our brain goes through a powerful biochemical process. Neurotransmitters like dopamine (the hormone that controls pleasure and motivation) and serotonin (which makes us feel satisfied) are released.

Normally, these chemicals are released gradually, like when we finish a challenging task or enjoy a nice meal. But with extended screen time, the brain starts working in an unfamiliar way as dopamine and serotonin are released in larger amounts and stay for longer periods. This makes it much harder to stop watching, as the brain gets “addicted” to the constant feeling of being rewarded.

You’ve probably experienced it yourself: you promise to watch just one episode, but end up glued to the screen for hours. For kids, managing this process is even harder. They’re still learning self-control, so getting them off the screen without preparation can be a real challenge.

💡 What Can You Do?

Try Negotiating

A strict ban is likely to lead to a tantrum. Instead, try talking about the rules together. For example, set a “digital curfew”—no screens after 8:00 PM.

Screen Time Break = Reward

Turn limiting screen time into a game. For instance, after each day of minimal screen use, your child earns points they can trade for something they want.

Offer Distractions

It’s tough to monitor your child’s screen time when you’re busy with work. One solution is to leave instructions with requests or ideas. For example, “Hey, sweetheart! Can you come up with and draw five fun activities you enjoy doing in your free time?” This encourages her to think beyond screens while feeling involved and valued.

Remember: It’s a process, not a battle. With patience, consistency, and a little creativity, you can help your daughter build a healthier relationship with screens without the drama.

Cover image: Dubova/Shutterstock