The New Kid: Helping Your Child Fit In

A child’s mood and school performance depend a lot on how comfortable they feel among classmates. When kids have friends and feel connected, school becomes a place they want to go, not just somewhere they have to be. Let’s see how you can help your child adjust to a new class and build friendships.

The First School Year: Helping Your Child Connect

For first graders, school is a brand-new world — lessons, rules, teachers, and classmates. Parents can help a child develop a warm attitude toward school.

Share your own memories

Tell your child what you loved about school — a kind teacher, fun lessons, loyal friends. Emphasize that school is the first step into the world of knowledge, full of opportunities and discoveries.

Show the power of kindness

Simple words like “hello,” “please,” and “thank you,” as well as listening and expressing opinions respectfully, help children earn goodwill. The best way to teach this is by showing it in your own behavior at home.

Practice starting a conversation

Explain that friendships often begin with the first step. Come up with a few easy openers together — “How was your weekend?” or “What’s your favorite cartoon?” Showing interest in others makes them more likely to respond warmly.

Ask and listen

After school, find a moment to ask about your child’s day — what went well, who they talked to, what they learned. Even if something didn’t go as planned, your attention and faith in them give confidence and comfort.

Encourage playdates and time together

Invite classmates over or suggest going to the park or playground together. Shared experiences help children bond faster and feel like part of the group.

Joining a Class That’s Already Close

If your child joins a group that’s been together for a while, it might take a little more time to adjust. Before school starts, try to learn about classroom routines, dress codes, or traditions. Talking to the teacher in advance can also help prepare your child.

• Think about their first impression. A cool pencil case, a fun backpack pin, or a unique notebook can spark a conversation, as long as it feels natural and reflects your child’s personality. But flashy gadgets or expensive clothes can sometimes create distance rather than connection.
• Talk through conversation topics. Encourage your child to think about what they might share about themselves — a hobby, a fun fact, a favorite book. The key is to be natural, not rehearsed. Sincerity always helps build trust.
• Give it time. Other kids also need time to get to know the newcomer. Sometimes, strong skills or confidence can seem intimidating at first, so it’s better to let abilities shine gradually, through genuine situations.

Helping Older Kids Adjust to a New Group

In middle or high school, relationships with classmates become especially important, and parents can still help.

• Separate your experience from theirs. Even if your school days were very different, your child’s story is their own. Your experience matters, but try not to project your worries or expectations onto them.
• Notice changes. If your teen becomes quieter, loses interest in usual activities, or spends most of their time gaming, it may be a sign that fitting in isn’t easy. Early attention to these shifts can make a big difference.
• Ask in a way that’s easy to answer. Instead of “How’s school?”, try “I’ve noticed you haven’t talked much about your new class lately. Want to tell me what’s been going on?” This shows you care, without pressure.

Moving to a new class or school is always a challenge. It’s natural for a child to feel uncertain at first. What matters most is that they know all their feelings are valid, you understand, and you’re there for them. And we’re here to help you with care and advice along the way.

References

• How to help your child make friends and handle friendship issues at school, Raising Children Network, 2025
• What to Do When Your Kid Is ’the New Kid’ in School, Parents, 2024
• How to Practice Social Situations with Your Child?, Advanced Psychology Services