How to Help with Homework (Even If You Can’t)

“Can you help me with this?”, your child asks, and you panic inside: What kind of problem is this? Is that a new way of dividing? Is this even math?

The good news is: you don’t need to understand the school curriculum to be helpful. Just wanting to support your child already means a lot.

You Don’t Have to Know Everything to Be Helpful

Here’s what matters: your role isn’t to have all the answers. It’s to create a home environment that makes learning easier.

When a child has a calm, supportive adult nearby, it’s easier for them to work through challenges, even tough ones. Your presence is the foundation they need.

What You Can Do Even if You Don’t Know the Subject

You don’t need to be a math whiz or a grammar expert to be a great support. These simple actions make a real difference:

• Set up a study space. Create a quiet, well-lit area with minimal distractions and everything your child needs. This helps them stay focused.
• Help build a routine. Make a simple daily schedule together: when to study, do homework, take breaks, and use devices. Post it somewhere visible. It’ll be easier for everyone to stick to.
• Just be there. Sometimes sitting nearby is all it takes for a child to feel supported.
• Look for answers together. If you don’t know something, say so, then search for the answer together online, ask a chatbot like ChatGPT, or reach out to the teacher.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If the subject is important and you’re stuck, that’s okay. Reach out to a tutor, an older student, a family friend, or the teacher.

What Not to Do

Sometimes, even with the best intentions, we make mistakes that can get in the way of learning. Here’s what to avoid:

• Don’t do the work for them. They won’t learn how to solve problems on their own and may start doubting their abilities.
• Don’t criticize. If it seems like they’re being lazy, they might just be struggling.
• Don’t let it turn into a fight. If you’re both frustrated, take a break.
• Don’t panic over unfinished homework. It’s not the end of the world. Kids can catch up, talk to their teacher, or start fresh. The most important thing isn’t scolding, it’s support and guidance.

What really matters isn’t how many assignments get done, it’s knowing a parent is there when things get hard. That’s what your child will remember.

When you stay calm, offer support, and show that you believe in them, it becomes easier for your child to believe in themselves. Even if you don’t understand the schoolwork, you can still give your child something powerful: the confidence that challenges can be overcome especially when someone’s by your side.

References:

• 7 Tips for Parents to Help Their Child Develop Effective Study Skills, Edmentum, 2024
• Homework Help for Reluctant Children, Harvard Graduate School of Education, 2018
• Help With Homework, Hurt Your Child, Wired, 2012