10 Tips for Connecting with Your Teen

Communicating with teens can feel a bit like a landmine at times. But it doesn’t have to be this way! Teens benefit greatly from a warm, responsive relationship with their parents, and despite sometimes seeming like they are pushing you away, teens actually want to stay connected with their parents.

We’ve put together 10 ideas to help you build a warm, respectful connection with your teen—without pressure or conflict.

💬 Keep Communication Open

Listen without distractions. Avoid interrupting or judging. Talk together as equals—it helps build trust.

How: Ask open-ended questions, show genuine interest in their views, and hold back on criticism.

Example: Instead of “Are you on your phone again?!” try “What are you checking out? Is it good?”

🫶 Show Empathy

Acknowledge your teen’s emotions, even when they don’t make sense to you. Try putting yourself in their shoes. Compassion lowers conflict and brings you closer.

How: Don’t rush to give advice. Reflect their feelings back in respectful words. While you can share that you understand because something similar has happened to you, keep it brief and on point. You don’t want to come across as making it all about you.

Example: “Looks like something’s bothering you” or “Sounds like things are really tough right now. Want me to just sit with you for a bit?”

🤝 Aim for Cooperation, Not Control

Involve your teen in decisions, keeping them age-appropriate, of course. Feeling heard builds responsibility and confidence.

How: Set rules together, let them choose between a few options.

Example: “You want to go to the party—let’s agree on what time you’ll be home.”

❤️‍🩹 Support Emotional Regulation

Help your teen recognize and handle big emotions—it boosts their confidence in tough situations.

How: Talk about coping strategies, model healthy habits, and try breathing or other grounding techniques together.

Example: “When I get angry, I try to take deep breaths. Want to do it with me?”

💪 Strengthen Your Bond

Spend time together simply because you love them—not for their grades or achievements.

How: Make time for warm, casual moments. Do things you both enjoy.

Example: Weekend walks, dinner without phones, or going to a concert together.

🌐 Stay Aware of Their Online World

Ask what excites them online and how it makes them feel—without judgment.

How: Treat their online life as a regular part of their day, share your own thoughts too.

Example: “Did any Reels stand out today? What did you like about it?”

🤗 Be Attentive to Changes

Notice significant shifts in mood or behavior, and don’t be afraid to ask gentle questions.

How: Learn the signs of anxiety, depression, or self-harming behavior. Keep an eye on their mood and talk when needed. If you’re unsure, a psychologist can help.

Example: “Lately, there’s been more talk about how tiredness and isolation might be signs of depression—even in teens. Want to talk about it?”

🗣️ Talk Openly About Tough Topics

Discuss sex, substances, fears—even if there aren’t perfect answers, being present matters. If it’s hard to bring up, try watching a movie or show about it and start there. Take some time before starting these conversations to learn the facts about these topics so that you can share accurate information.

How: Be respectful, acknowledge the topic is sensitive, and create a safe space to talk.

Example: “If you ever have questions about relationships or sex, I want you to know you can talk to me. I won’t judge—I’ll just share what’s important to know.”

🤸‍♂️ Stay Flexible

What worked in childhood may now annoy or distance them. Flexibility helps you grow together.

How: Adjust your approach, try new ways of talking with them, and ask what matters to them now.

Example: “I can see my questions are bugging you—how about I just tell you about my day instead?”

🙏 Reach Out for Help

You don’t have to manage everything alone. Outside support can improve your relationship—and your teen’s well-being.

How: Ask a psychologist or parent coach for guidance, find support groups for parents, or read up on teen psychology.

Love, attention, and your willingness to grow with your child make all the difference. If something doesn’t work—that’s okay. Try again.

References:

• A systematic review of the association between parent‐child communication and adolescent mental health, JCPP Advances, 2023
• The parent’s role in adolescent care-seeking: Building research evidence to mobilize this untapped resource, Journal of Adolescent Health, 2022
• 11 tips for communicating with your teen, UNICEF Parenting Hub, 2022
• Parent attachment, The Encyclopedia of Child and Adolescent Development, 2020