7 Parenting Mistakes Almost Everyone Makes

Mistakes are a natural part of parenting—nobody gets it right all the time. But some patterns tend to repeat themselves, and they can get in the way of helping a child feel confident, build independence, and grow up happy.

Here are some common parenting pitfalls to watch for, especially if your child is between 7 and 11.

1. Comparing Your Child to Others

“You know, Emma does her homework on her own,” or “Look how neatly John writes.” These kinds of comments might seem motivating, but comparisons can make a child feel like their own efforts don’t matter. Instead of inspiring, it can create anxiety or self-doubt.

Try to focus on your child’s progress and praise specific actions.

2. Inconsistency with Rules

One day they’re scolded for leaving a messy room, the next—nothing is said. Mixed messages leave kids confused. What’s important? What isn’t?

Clear, consistent expectations help kids feel safe and know what’s expected.

3. Too Much Control

When adults micromanage everything—from homework to outfits—kids don’t get the chance to make decisions. That slows down their growth toward independence and responsibility.

Start by giving your child small choices and allowing them to experience natural consequences in a safe way.

4. Dismissing Emotions

“Don’t cry,” “It’s not a big deal,” “You’re overreacting”—these phrases may come from a good place, but they can make a child feel like their emotions are wrong or don’t matter.

Instead, try to name the feeling and offer support.

If your child comes home sad and says no one played with them at recess, you might say: “That sounds really lonely. I can see that was hard. Want to talk about it?”

5. Criticizing the Child Instead of the Behavior

“You’re so lazy” or “You’re always so careless” can shape a negative self-image. Over time, kids may start to believe those labels.

It’s more helpful to focus on actions: “You forgot to turn off the light” is better than “You always forget everything.”

6. Praise That Misses the Mark—or No Praise at All

Empty praise (“Good job!” for anything) starts to lose its meaning. But praising only for perfect results can backfire, too, as kids may begin to avoid challenges out of fear of failure.

Instead, notice effort, persistence, and initiative, and say it out loud.

Rather than just “Nice work,” try: “I saw how long you worked on that problem and didn’t give up. I loved how you kept going.”

7. Expectations That Are Too High—or Too Low

Expecting a 7-year-old to behave like an adult or doing everything for a 10-year-old can both be harmful. Kids need age-appropriate challenges and the chance to grow into new skills step by step.

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The key is to reflect on how our actions shape our child’s experience, and be open to adjusting.

If you recognize yourself in any of these examples, don’t be hard on yourself. The fact that you’re reflecting already shows the most important thing: you’re present, you care, and you’re trying to understand your child.

References:

• Common Parenting Mistakes that Make Children Insecure, TalktoAngel Blog, 2025
• 7 parenting habits that can lead to anxious children, Times of India, 2025
• Positive Parenting Tips: Middle Childhood (9–11 years old), CDC, 2024
• Three Common Mistakes in Parenting, Psychology Today, 2019